Manic: Soon before show-time my daughter told me that her throat hurt. Hmm, is this post nasal-drip from allergies or an illness? With no fever, I went with allergies. And I was wrong, but I didn’t know that until later.
Managed: She did great at the show, looked good and seemed to feel great! I thought I made the right call and felt like a good mom.
Manic: Two hours after her performance we sat in urgent care with her shivering in my arms. She had a 103 degree fever. What had I done letting her perform when she told me that her throat hurt earlier?! Now I felt like a bad mom.
If you are a manic managed mom with kids in activities, I’m guessing that this has happened to you. Although most moms have no formal training in nursing, we have t0 make tough calls when our kids start to feel bad right before a big and very anticipated event.
For my kid, she was delighted several months ago when a boy she knows asked her to perform a duet with him at a local fund-raising talent show. They rehearsed several times, coordinated adorable outfits and were ready to go.
Several days before the big day, her partner came down with the flu! With Tamiflu and awesome doting parents, he was well enough by Saturday to perform with my girl.
However soon before the curtain rose, my daughter started complaining about a sore throat. She had no fever and no other symptoms at all. So, I gave her some herbal tea with lemon and honey along with a Tylenol and she was ready to go.
The song and dance went off without a hitch. It was adorable! After lots of applause and cheers, my 9-year-old settled in with us to watch the rest of the show. Whew, I thought. It was allergies after all. I felt like a good mom who knows her kid’s body!
A little later, she started squirming and laying her head on the table. She really wanted to stay and see her friends and her beloved theatre director perform. But, after intermission, she told me that she had to go…and that she needed to leave right that instant.
She waved goodbye and smiled at folks, but the minute the car door was shut, she erupted into tears of pain. We were soon in urgent care and my dancing little girl had become a quivering and feverish sick one. Again, I felt like a bad mom.
As I sat up with her all night managing the fever and giving her nebulizer treatments, I questioned my actions that day. But truly, with no fever and no other symptoms, how was I to know that a mean little virus was raging in her body.
And why did it wait to show itself after the show?! Why didn’t it come on full force stopping me from taking her to the theatre?
Well, as mamas, we can’t waste time and energy second-guessing our actions, when we know that we truly had our kid’s best interest at heart. And that there was no way to know that a big illness was really coming our way.
And I have to say that she had an absolute blast doing that song and dance with her good friend. I have watched their performance video three times to see if I missed her sick signals and I’m telling you, that kid does not look sick in that show!
And if I had to wonder any longer about whether I was a good or bad mom, my teenager stopped me as I was carrying chicken noodle soup up to his little sister. He gave me a hug and told me that I am a good mom!
Then later my little feverish girl looked up at me and whispered the same thing. Hearing my kids tell me that I’m a good mom…well it makes all the sweat, tears and hard work absolutely magical.
If only my daughter wasn’t sick, I would have been doing a happy dance. But instead, I was doing the mom/nurse dance that comes with caring for a sick kid. Sleepless nights, thermometers, lots of liquids, managing fever, etc! You know the drill!
Ok, time to sign off to go take her temperature. Stay well out there. We should be nearing the end of cold and flu season, thank goodness!